Give Them a Say: How Small Choices Change the Way Your Team Works
Oct 3, 2026
Ever been stuck in traffic? You know the feeling. You're running late, the cars aren't moving, and there's nothing you can do about it. No exit, no alternate route, no way out. Just you, the brake lights, and a rising sense of frustration.
What makes traffic so miserable isn't only the delay. It's the helplessness. You're stuck doing something you didn't choose, with no say in how it ends.
Now think about how often the people on your team feel that way at work. Schedules change, coworkers call out, plans shift, and decisions land on them from above. Much of that is unavoidable. But how it's handled makes all the difference. When people have even a small say in how things unfold, the same challenge feels completely different.
Two versions of the same phone call
Picture Lauren, a front office manager at a resort. A front desk agent called out late last night, which means the front desk is one person short this morning. Once the agent opening the desk has clocked in, Lauren gives him a call to let him know.
She could say something like: "Hey, just a heads up, Sam called out last night. Jess is coming in early, so you'll have help by ten. Until then it'll be you and Chris, but I know you've got this. Thanks for rolling with it!" It's friendly. It's even encouraging. But the message is still the same. The decision has been made, and his job is to absorb it.
But that's not what Lauren does. She lets him know about the callout. She shares one way she's already stepped in: an afternoon team member is coming in early to help out for the bulk of the day. She offers one other possible solution: he and the other team member could lean on each other to meet guests' needs until relief arrives. And then, importantly, she asks him what he thinks of the plan. Does he see another way of handling the morning that she hasn't? How does he feel about rolling with one less person? Is it doable? Then, once they've talked it through, she asks if he would like her support for the morning hours.
Yes, he'll have more to do this morning. Yes, he'll have to do some light problem solving before support arrives. But he knows he can call Lauren if he needs her. He knows he signed up for this. And he knows he can handle it, because he walked through the potential problems with her and he's prepared for what's coming.
See the difference? The difference is agency. He got a say in his fate.
Why having a say matters
Agency is the sense that you can influence what happens to you. It's one of the most powerful resources a person has for handling stress, and it doesn't take a big decision to activate it. Small choices count.
Psychologist Angela Duckworth, best known for her research on grit, explores this idea in her new book Situated. Her central argument is that effort alone isn't enough. People do their best when their situation works for them rather than against them. She calls the ability to shape your circumstances situational agency.
Duckworth also describes something she calls situational responsibility: creating better circumstances for other people, especially those with less power to shape their own. That's where leaders come in. A front-line team member usually can't choose their schedule, their staffing, or who calls out. But a leader can create moments where that team member has real influence over how the day unfolds. Research on workplace stress points the same way: high pressure combined with little control is especially draining, while the same pressure feels more manageable when people have a say in how they meet it.
That's why the front desk agent's morning felt different even though the work didn't change. Being invited into the plan shifted the situation from something happening to him into something he was helping to shape. Instead of feeling stuck in traffic, he was the one choosing the route.
This matters on a micro level, every day. The way people feel about their jobs is built from many small moments like this one. Each time someone is given a real say, they feel a little more capable and a little more trusted. Each time a decision is simply handed down, they feel a little more like a passenger.
The ripple effect
When you give people small opportunities to choose, the effect doesn't stay with one person.
For the employee, it builds confidence and ownership. A person who helped shape the plan is invested in making it work. They're more likely to solve problems on their own and more likely to ask for help early, because they know the door is open.
For the team, it builds trust. When people see that their input is wanted and used, they speak up more. You hear about problems sooner, you get better ideas, and people feel like partners rather than resources being moved around a schedule.
For the guest, it shows up in the energy of the service. Guests can feel the difference between a team member who is resentfully getting through a short-staffed morning and one who feels prepared and supported. One delivers a transaction. The other delivers hospitality, even on a hard day.
How to give your team a say
Offering agency doesn't mean handing over every decision or leaving people on their own. It means bringing them into the thinking. The next time a challenge lands on someone's shift, try this sequence:
Share the situation honestly. Tell them what happened and what it means for them.
Show what you've already done. Let them know they aren't carrying it alone.
Offer one possible approach. Give them a starting point rather than a blank page.
Ask for their view. Do they see another way? What would make this easier?
Check their capacity. Ask how they feel about it, and whether they'd like your support.
Keep the door open. Make it clear they can reach out if things change.
The key is that the question is real. If you've already decided and are only asking for show, people will notice. Be willing to change the plan based on what they tell you.
Small moments, everyday choices
In hospitality, opportunities to offer choice show up all the time. A few examples:
Staffing gaps: Ask the team on shift how they'd like to divide the work before you assign it.
Schedules: Where possible, let people weigh in on shift swaps, break timing, or how a busy day is structured.
Guest recovery: Give team members a range of options for making things right with an unhappy guest, and trust them to choose.
The workspace: Ask the people who use a room or station every day what would make their work easier.
New processes: Before you roll out a change, ask the people it affects how it could work best in practice.
None of these require a large investment. They require a leader who's willing to ask and to listen to the answer.
Help them out of traffic
You can't remove every challenge from your team's day. Callouts will happen, guests will be difficult, and plans will change. But you can decide whether your team meets those moments feeling stuck or feeling capable.
So here's an invitation for the week ahead. If it feels right, look for one small decision you'd normally make on your own and consider bringing someone into it. Share what you know, offer an idea, and ask what they think. Then get curious about how they move through the rest of their day, and how the guests they serve respond.
When people have a say in how their day unfolds, they don't just get through it. They own it.